stupid eyes

yesterday was Inayawan's Fiesta. of course, we went there for some food and booze. Noel invited us at his place for dinner and so yeah, we were there. after dinner, opal, naner, main, and I went outside for some air. beside Noel's house, there was a party too and there was a band. we were standing at the side when the singer went up the small stage and sang Heaven Knows. i just couldn't take the song and when it got me into the state where smile and tears will go together, i realized it was my cue to exit. after that, i went back and after a minute or two, the singer again started to sing a familiar song. i swear i heard it before and when he hit on the chorus, "...How did you know i needed someone like you in my life..." all i could say was.. "suko man tingali ning singer nako".

i don't know if opal noticed these stupid eyes but they were holding me back cuz i wanted to walk out again. after the song, i was in my old place again and was in a deep thought. naner tapped my shoulders and showed me the bottles of beer. aaaahh, cold, golden things that makes things a lot more easy to take, a lot more easy to bare.

and so it started. vior and hazel arrived. oca, pareng chad and yort showed up too. hazel, vior, and i were talking about flag football and all. hazel then gave me a strap. a reggae strap around my hand with a marijuana design on it. "imo na ni tabs kay mura kog bagsik tan-awon ani. ako man sad gihatagan si vior ana." thanks haze.

we were drinking, not minding the time cuz today is a holiday. everyone went home, everyone were drunk. opal, main, bibo, and a bunch of them left around 3am i guess. vior gave hazel a ride home so it was me, oca, chad, and tiyago left in the round table. "sasabay ako sa inyo pare. iinom ako ng iinom hanggang matumba ko kayo." said pareng chad. oca uttered a smile and i was like, okay. after a few bottles, chad was throwing up. "tang ina, ano ba tiyan mo taba? semento?!". that was a good one, oca was already leaning on the table and tiyago was busy throwing up too. they left me laughing at them and oca was talking to himself. i decided to drink 1 more bottle before i go. i look at my watch, it was 5am. i look at ourselves, we were fucked up.

i woke up pareng chad, then i woke up oca. oca gave me a hard time, he wouldn't get up and i was like, "tawag nalng ko ug tanod oca?". i dragged his body up and so he had no choice but to stand up and walk. "pare, tulungan mo ako kay oca." i told pareng chad. "di ko na nga kaya sarili ko. putang ina ka talaga taba, ano ba kinakain mo ha? nag training ka ba uminom?"

as we walk by the road, we said goodbye to tiyago and i told the sleepwalkers that we don't have money for a ride home so we will just walk. oca suddenly ran across the street, so i ran after him and pare was all dumbfounded by what we were doing. "wa nay blema plete! di na kailangan!" oca yelled. i grabbed him and said, "wa tay plete oi! ayaw pahamak oca!". a jeep pulled over and oca jumped in, so i drag pareng chad and made him sit beside oca. as for me, i was hanging on the monkey bar. good thing, the driver didn't asked for the fare when i asked him to stop.

oca was laughing all the way to his home, pareng chad was telling me, "first time ko to pare. tang ina naman to o".

sunrise was already at our sight and when i got home, i went straight to my bed and just stare at the ceiling. i didn't want to think anymore so i closed my eyes. i just woke up right now and i only had 4 hours of sleep. just great.

my condolence to the Ang family. Tingin Ang died because of a heart attack yesterday morning. a thief went inside their place and he ran after him. when they caught the thief, he and some trisikad drivers were beating the ass off the punk when suddenly, he had a heart attack.

strange atmosphere.

i am

i am the water
i am the waves crashing on to you
i am the blank wave

i am the madness, the loss, the dark,
the hunt, the cage, the race

i am one step closer for you
please tell me when you're through
cuz i will never be through with you
and if this were the the last breath i ever took
would you take the time to look

i am rejection

a family

she's a dear friend here at jamestown. she sends me text messages once in a while and she always goes like, "taba!!! musta n man ka???!!".

we talk during our bystanding mode at Rose's Store. whatever we need or want, she gracefully hands it to us and happily accepting our coins. anyways, she's a BSC-Education graduate and completed a Caregiving course at CCSDC. everyone calls her Ma'am Grace. she's an ex-teacher at USJ-R but she decided to quit for i don't know why. she took up caregiving classes and after that, she just kinda like, disappeared in Jamestown, then we knew that she was already in Taiwan. everybody was happy for her and all that.

just recently, i went to the Puerto Suerte lantay and i heard yan-t talking about hospitalization and stuff. i asked who was in the hospital and said, "si ma'am grace gud". i asked, "abot na diay siya? di ba naa man sya sa taiwan run?".

then i knew after 4 months of work in taiwan, she went home with a disease. her liver is getting bigger and needs operation. i was shocked. for a woman who does not drink, it was just so weird. now, ma'am grace needs 4000 CC of blood. her blood type is A+ and mine is an O. that means, i can donate blood. as for me, i have been donating blood regularly every six months, so needles ain't a problem. i talked to her cohort, girlie and told her that i can donate blood. tomorrow is my schedule, me and mainyak and vior will go visit ma'am grace in community hospital and check her out.

yan-t said ma'am grace is so skinny already. poor ma'am grace.

hold on ma'am, my badass blood is coming. i'm pretty sure she will overcome this dreadful thing that happened to her life.

here in jamestown, we're not just friends, we're family.

... and i just hope blood will flow out of me... not gravy. hehehe.

last night was noel's birthday. after the PREX seminar, manyak and i bumped into vior and told us to go to noel's place in inayawan. we fetched oca and we were off. when we arrive at the birthday boy's house, we had a couple of lumpia and other good stuff on the table. then of course, we served ourselves with beer. we finished drinking at 3am already, as if it was a saturday. at that time, no means of transportation is at sight. so we walked from inayawan to jamestown. on our way, oca and main had a couple of stops to buy ciggys.

i want a DSL connection. my internet is not working properly because of the dirty phone line. to hell with PLDT.


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if i had a scheme for everything, i think i can change it all
if i had it in me to stop my random thoughts and my dumb dreams
if only i could say, take a good look then look the other way
frustrations, hell, who needs it? who needs it anyway?

hack

ok so i saw a documentary about hacking yesterday. wow, i mean wow! there's a magazine for hackers which is legally out in the market. there are a lot of kinds of hack. a hacker is defined as a white hat, whom he will hack a certain system and tells the administartor how he got into the system so the administrator will know what to do to prevent the hack. there is also a black hat hacker, this is the more viscious one. it gets into your system, steals anything what he can steal and will not inform the administrator that he has been hacked.

the skilled hackers were interviewed on that documentary. they really know what is going on in the internet. what i know is that we can play games, shop, steal songs, chat, emails and all other stuff. what we don't know is how it works behind those features. from how bytes are sent to who controls the internet. hhhmmm, someone is controlling the internet? yep, the United States has the control over the internet. from the domians, IP addresses, what site that will have the biggest database, and all other stuff working for the internet. to us, they say it's bad.

but who cares? as long as i play gunbound, my computer is in good condition, my buddies are online and all that stuff... i can put my tech side to rest. =)

i'm at manyak's place right now, the sun has reached its zenith but he is still sleeping. imma go play gunbound now. hehehe. no, i'll sign on to yahoo for a while.